Things I wish I could say...

Christian,
I have been trying to find the right words to say to you....The hurt that has been caused is beyond repair, and I guess you realized that much sooner than I did....But you had no reason to lie to me....You could have told me that there was someone else...you didn't have to tell me that I was still the only one, you didn't have to lie and say that you didn't want or need another relationship right now because you needed to focus on school....Nor did you have to say the things about still wanting a future together....Sure it would have hurt, knowing you wanted to hold another girls hand, tell another girl that you loved her and thought she was pretty....but you didn't need to lie to me....since the beginning of us to the end all I EVER asked of you is to be honest and you couldn't even do that....So here is what I really wanted to say....You broke every piece of me that I had left....you tore all of my dreams apart....And one day, maybe not now, not in weeks, months or years, but one day you will look back and regret what you have done....regret the lies, the hurt, the heartache....You can take all the memories and everything else we shared back, because I am tired of going through my everyday life and always finding things that remind me of you and the things we did together....And you take this and ball it up like you do with everything else including your feelings and I will clean up the mess you have made of me....One day someone will TRULY love and care about me like you claimed you did but they will actually mean it....One day I will get over you....I know people make mistakes, I guess I finally found one of my biggest ones, YOU....I remember calling Chris one of the biggest disappointments, but I realize now that is far from the truth....You were the biggest disappointment.....But I know, that no matter how hard I try to forget, I will always love you....You will always have a part of me and it's time to face it, we can never be together again....I'm glad for the years we spent together Christian, they were good while the lasted....But what's done is done and now for the hardest part of all....Goodbye to the boy I once called lover, to the boy who held my hand when I felt lost, to the boy who carried me through all the tough times, to the boy I once thought I knew....he is gone.....So with that, I will go.....Goodbye, Christian....