broken crush...

I AM GOING TO DRIVE MY SELF INSANE WITH THIS ONE. ITS TOO MUCH TO BARE. FLOYD- MY FIRST EVERYTHING, STILL IN MY HEART AND IT JUST WILL NEVER GO AWAY. NO MATTER HOW MUCH I'VE TRIED, AND I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING TO FORGET FLOYD I STILL CAN NEVER FORGET HIM.
NEVER STOP LOVING HIM.
I'VE DONE ALL THE DRUGS AND PARTYING TO MOVE ON,
I HAVE A CHILD AND NOW MARRIED,
I'VE LET 6 YEARS PASS BY. BUT STILL.
I'M SO BROKEN AND MISS HIM SO MUCH. FEEL LIKE MY LIMB IS MISSING AND I'LL NEVER GET IT BACK. I'VE TRIED CONTACTING HIM AND I'VE TRIED EMAILING HIM. HE DOESN'T RESPOND. I COULD DIE. I'M NOT OBSESSED, CUS I HAVE TRIED MOVING ON...I HAVE TRIED GIVING MY LIFE ANOTHER CHANCE AT LOVE AND JUST LIFE. BUT EVERYDAY I SEE HIM IN MY THOUGHTS AND HIS NAME CROSSES MY MIND. THE WEIRDEST PART IS THAT I WORK IN A OFFICE THAT HIS UNCLE OWNED AFTER 6 YEARS, I'M SO CONFUSED. IS THIS MY SOUL MATE? HOW CAN I REACH HIM? I'LL NEVER GET HIM BACK, PLUS IT WUD RUIN MY DAUGHTERS LIFE. I'M BROKEN. TORN BETWEEN MY FAMILY AND MY FIRST LOVE THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE. SO I'D RATHER GIVE MY FAMILY THE LIFE THEY WOULDN'T HAVE IF I HAD MY FIRST LOVE.
I WONDER IF OTHER PEOPLE FEEL THE SAME WAY I DO ABOUT SOMEONE YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO BE WITH. I HAD A CHANCE I BLEW IT. NOW I'M HOPELESS, HURT, AND HATE MYSELF.
LET ME TELL YOU THE STORY ABOUT HOW IT WENT AND THEN YOU JUDGE FOR YOURSELF IF I AM ENTIRELY INSANE OR JUST HOPELESSLY DEVOTED TO ONE I LOVE.