Attachment style musings #1

Free-form rambles, analysing/feeling about my general feelings about friendships and relationships. No one specific.

I feel like I like too many things. I am a curious person, without the energy to match.

Maybe I like so many things, because then I will be able to appeal to as many people as possible.

That is part true. I miss connection.

Then at the same time, I don't know how to connect.

>Fearful-avoidant adult attachment style
>Disorganized-insecure attachment kid style

is my self-analysis.

I keep falling for people with mommy issues, I think. And that is completely fine. I have my issues too. And I crave being the caring, nurturing energy person, I crave being needed that way.

Not fixing someone. Not mothering them, but giving them love and healing them.*

(And through that process, getting love back and. Healing myself.)

But only to a certain extent, I guess?

The problem is, Idk what the problem is.

The problem is, I am afraid of being hurt.

The problem is, I get so in my own mind space and then I either want to be free to do what I want or to be small and cared for myself.

But I don't want to have to miss that, I don't want to have something like that to lose.

Maybe I should start driving a motorcycle and become a badass heartbreaker biker chick. Fuck this inner growth and healing thing! Be awesome instead! lol

* Healing is not the same as trying to force "fixing" them because I think something is "wrong" with them. Healing is simply... A process that comes from within a person. The healing manifests as giving someone the circumstances to feel safe, a listening ear and a hand if they want it.

Even though I tend to start brainstorming for solutions, they are always meant to be suggestions, to be ignored if unapplicable or unwanted. And I am capable of switching to a more listening stance.
03 apr 2021 - bewerkt op 04 apr 2021 - 67x gelezen
Profielfoto van knowthyself
knowthyself, vrouw, 26 jaar
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