Kids like the girl in the video - I was always kind of jelly of them. And I am not easily jealous, my automatic / my reflex is to get inspired and to work to get what I want, not to feel negative feelings when I see someone having something nice. This goes for love, too. My reflex is to become inspired to get what she has, ( or he 🤭 ) and if that's not enough for someone, then so be it. I just can't worry I'll lose them 🤣
Because I wouldn't easily leave anyone if they weren't like someone else - because I fully and consciously chose them for who they are.
But I do enjoy it when they improve (for me, or for themselves), so I cannot imagine or fathom anyone who says they love and want me leaving me over some bonus feature.
Even if it happens - that just means they weren't who I thought they were - they did not have the character and analytical skills I gave them credit for. That's fine. I don't miss anyone who did not like me for me - they weren't for me, in the first place. And I only want who wants me - maybe that's why I follow God so fully - now I know he is real
So anyway, it's just not the way I function. But I do overthink. I worry I'll fail, I worry about what others think or could think, and how they could get in my way of achieving what I want. It gives them too much power, anyway, I've learnt - because anything I want, I can get. And keep showing up for, consistently.
But girls like her, they seem so pure, like they truly operate outside of and unaware of all the drama, and just believe and just do without anything BUT that pure reflex.
I've had one as my friend via a friend & it is so nice. To be around them. They aren't that pure and naive after all - but they just don't radiate any of that struggling energy most people do. ❤️🙏
P.S. I just realised the kid in the video could have been something other than a girl - it really does not matter - especially at that age.
The "( or he 🤭 )" could have come across as a joke about the appearance of the kid, but it wasn't that. I need to be more careful of my wording - safest to just say as little as possible in personal sense when at places like work.
I meant that, my partner could be attracted to a "he", and I'd still work at getting what that person has rather than being jelly about it. (Even if that is getting a super fat dildo to put in a harness 🫠🤣 That is the inside thought that made me giggle. I'd never make fun of someone's appearance. 😠
I hate that I did not say anything when one kid who was a boy with SUPERDUPER LONG blond hair was teased about being a girl, I thought he did not need it just because he was strong, and did not seem to let it get to him, and I did not want him to get picked on for having a girl stand up for him (like is often done in the movies?) but I should have said something.
As for work - Only vertrouwenspersonen might get something from me if they can help ME. but I need to keep in mind they work for the employer FIRST. Me second. or third or eighth...