Soo.. this is day 1 (or day 2 to be precise)

Hello! Well this is my first diary entry and I suppose I better explain what it's all about! My nickname is MissingC. Now C stands for a name, a boy's name. He's a crush I've had for the past two days short of a week now and he's already gone. But that's only because I met him the strangest and probably most frowned upon of places. Although the fact I know his name is C and I know what he looks like, that's all I know to be honest but I promised myself that I would write a diary entry for every day from now until he next comes back this time next year to help keep my feelings in check and to establish what I really want from a relationship (if I ever do pluck up the courage to speak to him next year and if I still decide I want it). I suppose in a way, it's sad that this type of diary is even taking place, but I guess everything in life is a test, something to make you realise what you want out of life and if you wanted it that bad, you'd go for it. I missed my opportunity this year around, and so far, I'm determined not to let the same thing happen again in the next. Taylor's right you know. "I think you should do. I think you should speak now." Do not pass up your chance, it may be the only one you get.

So yeah, I best start getting into things; the first entry is always the longest! I just have so much to say! I guess the whole idea of this was inspired by the film Dear John (that I actually only first watched a few months ago!) The whole idea of Savannah having to wait a year for her loved one to return kind of struck a cord with me and believe me, if he knew and I could write him letters instead of doing this, I would be doing. So here comes the part where I get judged. I first saw him on a fairground. Yes, as one of the travelers that operates the rides. Now I know exactly what goes through people's heads when they hear things like that: "she'll get herself into trouble, he's up to no good, only wants one thing. Probably a dirty, filthy man." I've heard it all before. But like I said, we're all human, and I've always been told it's wrong to make assumptions about people without properly knowing them first. I just think about it this way though. I'm a strong believer in fate. I believe everything happens for a reason, whether it's to help you, hinder you, teach you or to give you an experience that you could learn from. So even if he does turn out to fit the usual stereotype, at least I gained something from it, an experience if nothing else.

I never spoke to him, but I really wish I did. He seemed fairly decent from what I saw of him, not like any of the others (or most of them anyway). He was good looking, a blond with a slim build but a LOT of strength. He seemed to mind his own business, getting on with what he was there for and talking to others only periodically, from what I saw anyway. He seemed, kind almost. He did things like helping children back to their parents, catching people before they fell down the steps before getting off the ride. Surely if he was all that bad, he wouldn't have bothered? Maybe it was just my wishful thinking, but I swear I saw him looking in my direction various times. I daren't even smile, it always makes me nervous wondering what other people think. Looking back, I wish I had of done. What did I have to lose? I hadn't gained anything, that was all to come if it worked out the way I hoped it would. Next year, I plan on maybe flirting a little bit, maybe even getting a second phone number and giving him that to see what happens. It's all my fault I'm going to have to wait another year now, but hey! I can write down everything I feel here, including different aspects of things that are going on in my everyday life. Which reminds me. My mother keeps trying to tell me she's pregnant.

-Emily