HQ@DB: I have allowed myself to see my investment

WITHIN THIS BOOK, LET ALONE REVEAL IT, AT THE END OF THE WRITING, AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR & EVEN THEN WITH MORE OF A SENSE OF HAVING BEEN CONSTRAINED TO DO THIS BY LANGUAGE, THE TEXT, THE PARTS THAT WOULD NOT COME ALIVE WITHOUT THIS ENERGY THAN BY A DESIRE FOR SELF-EXPOSURE.

SOMETHING SEEMS TO FRIGHTEN ME HERE, EITHER SOME BOUNDARY THAT I AM AFRAID, FOR MYSELF, THAT I AM THREATENING TO BREACH OR PERHAPS A FEAR THAT I will be perceived to have breached such a boundary & be marginalized or excluded from a community to which I still fervently desire to belong!

But there's no way out of this now other than to go right through the middle of it? Why does my book want me to "come out?" Why DO I need to tell about the love that (almost) would not dare to say its name, the love of this Orthodox Jew for Christianity? Even more grandiosely, I could pose the question (but very hesitantly, almost taking it back as I ask it), What purpose might this strange attraction play?

Perhaps it has led me to uncover something: Implicitly through this scholarship & explicitly right here, I suggest that the affiliation between what we call Judaism & what we call Christianity is much more complex than most scholars, let alone most layfolk, imagine and that that complexity has work to do in the world, that we can learn something from it about identities and affiliations. The world that I have found in this research is one in which identities were much less sure than they have appeared to us until now, in which the very terms of identity were being worked on and worked out. Not only had there not been the vaunted "parting of the ways," but Chris-tianity was deeply engaged in finding its identity, it's boundaries, and even busily & noisily sorting out what kind of an identity it would be, what kind of an identity it would form. There was no telling yet (or even now) what the telos of the story would be.
19 dec 2014 - bewerkt op 20 dec 2014 - meld ongepast verhaal
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Asih, man, 80 jaar
   
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