Do you have this feeling?

Well I'm not gonna say I'm the type of person who stuck in the past. But do you ever have this feeling of can't let go? It's been 1 year and 8 month since i broke up with my first love "BOBBY". it's been hard for noth of us to actually carrying this THING on because he lives in US and me in THAILAND. As cheesy as this may sound but yes Distance force us to call it off. He have been the only guy I really got that feeling with and honestly not a single day i don't missed him. Well someone my think we met on a dating site or blablabla i know how THAILAND may have sound , but nahh i met him in one of the competition I attend in Claremont,CA. I just don't really know what to do anymore.There's one side of me that want to let him go. But there's also one side of me that want him by my side. The feeling that he gave me how he supported me no matter what I do. As much as it kills me but he can find someone in college right now and probably prettier than me and nicer than me, but he decide to wait for me. And its hard. Having him call me once a month asking how am I doing. Or be the first one to say Happy birthday. I've tried to move on. Been in a few dates. But the feeling that you have no one could replace him. Everyone may thing "WHO GIVES A S**T". If i care about him, can't in a gazillion years to let him go "THEN GO BACK TO HIM". It's not that easy. Every time those feeling of missing him, long for him once draw back again. and it hurts like hell. It's to complicated. No matter what, or how hard you try. Thos feelings never fade away...