No Confidence

Dear Diary (and everyone reading this),
From the previous diary, we've been shunning each other for about two years or more now. I'm well aware that it is up to me to speak up, however, it is more difficult than it sounds, or maybe I'm just being the difficult. I'm really trying, I really am. We are in different classes, so if there was any spare time for us to talk, it would be sometime after school. The only way to walk home along with him, but then he has friends. If his friends aren't there, he has classmates or some person I recognize. Whenever that happens, my shyness creeps in and doesn't leave. If he is walking alone with not a single person, I am walking with my friends. Point is, I don't want to be around people I know when I talk to him. And I can't help it. I really can't go up to him and speak like everything is normal. Once when my sister told me he said: "You guys are pushing it. I don't like to be pushed. I do what I want and when I want" Right then, I thought: "What if it's too late?" There was a reason, besides the fact of education, why I go to school everyday. There was a reason why I was always online on Facebook. I think I'm just saying whatever is on my mind is at the moment, and maybe it doesn't make much sense. We're graduating in 3 days. We had so many chances that we didn't take. Ridiculous isn't it?
Sincerely, Aiko