new story i got writing....

So here it is i am rather nervous about this because im posting this for a person that i just took the events in her life and made this.....please leave a comment and tell me ur comments and thoguhts about it so far..... here it is:

"Leave no world undiscovered; no words left unspoken"
"I feel so much better now that i know your gone forever" her laugh evil and demonic.
my body trembles. tears cascade down my face.
" So now you cry?! so much for being made of stone eh girl?! you the same as you were before! you are so predictable!!!! you act like a fucking three year old brat! grow the fuck up!!!!" her voice sharp with distain.
I shake my head no furisiously " I- i- i am a wonderful person ask my friends!! you are just trying to hurt me with words that are lies!" my face shows all the hurt without my consent.
the woman lets out a entertained laugh "Your friends? really? your killing me hear girl! you dont hav a friend in this world. everyone wants you dead cant you see that?!" her laugh mocks me with every gasp for breath. i tighten my fingers into a fist "your lying to me! stop your words cant hurt me anymore!!!"
her eyes turn questioning. "im lying?" she tips her head back and lets out a terrible laugh."girl just take the truth like a woman!!! stop with the petty tears what are you a little bitch?!" i storm out of the room and grab my bag. "where do you think YOUR going?!" she screams as she chases after me. "AWAY!!!!" i scream terrified of her reaction. "gonna leave ur dearest mother just like that? go ahead....walk out....i dont need you...NO ONE deserves to be punished by having to be in your presense!!!!!!" her face curls into a devious smile. i stop abrubtly fingers curled around the doorhandle. she thinks she has found my checkmate.....to bad she never truly tried to get to know me. i face the floor staring at my bare feet."you arent my mother. never was and never will be." i yank open the door and start to run into the night. the asphalt is so cold against my feet, its almost as running on ice. "STOP HER!!!!!!!!" yelled the woman standing back at the doorway of the house. "NO IM INNOCENT!" i yell as tears stream faster. i look behind me trembeling, there is atleast 17 people chasing after me. their eyes were vengous and terrifyingly happy. "Ashlie!!! in here quickly!!!!" a man that looked lik he was in his late teens motioned for her to come into his house. i ran towards the house pushing my legs to go faster than i would of ever thought possible. the door slams behind me. faces are looking at me curisously. the man walks out to the middle of the room and smiles " ashlie marie welcome to the outcasts"