just say it already
Just say it already, you don't trust me.
Ive tried to show you that i am capable of things
You just don't want to realize it...
You don't have to understand, you don't have to empathise with me. Just please understand why I don't really talk or participate anymore.
You don't want my help nor do you need it. All you do is take every opportunity when I volunteer to help is to crush me and make me below your level.
I get it you don't think that anything I do is worth the time or effort. Its not like I don't have people telling me that everyday or anything. Hell even my family and friends think the same, even though their reluctant to ever say it in front of my face. I know it through the actions they make.
Just for once I want to be able to be taken seriously and finally heard.
I couldn't take it this weekend I broke down and cut again. I feel like its the only way I can ever get rid of all the hatred. I was smart though I cut where no one would expect it to be. I cut on my palm this time. Honestly I look back at all the times people were nice to me and im horrified. They were never nice to be because they wanted
to. They did it because I had something they wanted. Its amazing what people say when your finally ready to leave this world. They just utter nonsense, anything to get you to not do it. You never mean what you say, if you did then you would notice every time I came running home in tears or every time I refused to eat or every time i disappeared just waiting seeing if you really would care enough to look. You never did. Please don't blame me and say 'you were always there' because we both know its a lie. Just stop pretending and say it, you just don't care.
Ive tried to show you that i am capable of things
You just don't want to realize it...
You don't have to understand, you don't have to empathise with me. Just please understand why I don't really talk or participate anymore.
You don't want my help nor do you need it. All you do is take every opportunity when I volunteer to help is to crush me and make me below your level.
I get it you don't think that anything I do is worth the time or effort. Its not like I don't have people telling me that everyday or anything. Hell even my family and friends think the same, even though their reluctant to ever say it in front of my face. I know it through the actions they make.
Just for once I want to be able to be taken seriously and finally heard.
I couldn't take it this weekend I broke down and cut again. I feel like its the only way I can ever get rid of all the hatred. I was smart though I cut where no one would expect it to be. I cut on my palm this time. Honestly I look back at all the times people were nice to me and im horrified. They were never nice to be because they wanted
to. They did it because I had something they wanted. Its amazing what people say when your finally ready to leave this world. They just utter nonsense, anything to get you to not do it. You never mean what you say, if you did then you would notice every time I came running home in tears or every time I refused to eat or every time i disappeared just waiting seeing if you really would care enough to look. You never did. Please don't blame me and say 'you were always there' because we both know its a lie. Just stop pretending and say it, you just don't care.
16 dec 2013
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