First tears

Tomorrow, (well in approximately 1 and a half hours) it will be 20 days since I first saw C. That's just 10 days short of a month. Here was me thinking that time was already dragging and it would feel like a life time before he came back. To be honest, sometimes it does; especially on the nights and days I find myself missing him the most but taking the whole thing day by day seems to be working pretty well. Hey, there's only 12 months in a year and one's down already. There's not even half a year of this year left and then there's only another 7 months I have to wait after that. I really can't wait for my baby to come home. I genuinely believe that I'm slowly starting to fall in love with him. Even if it's just with his memory, it won't take long for that to transfer onto C himself as soon as I set my sights on him again next year!

Last night, I cried my first tears over C. I'm always much more emotional at night and I was just sitting there thinking about him again. It's second nature to me to worry about things constantly, if he's okay, wondering what he's doing and I guess it just got a little too much for me. I guess it just proves to myself just how much he means to me and just how much I need him back.

I've also got really low self esteem so I decided I'm going to change my appearance to help build it up a little. I figured that if I'm happy and confident in myself, that comes across as more attractive to others. I'm going to lose a little weight, change my hair style, decide on a new makeup style and swap these glasses for contact lenses!

346 days to go!
Emily