What can you see

If you take a quick glance at me, you won't notice it. You'll miss it. If you pass by me you won't realize it. You will think that I am the happiest person on earth. I am. I live my day like there is no tomorrow. I work. I am independent. I have big dreams, and goals for myself. I am not cocky or arrogant. I don't care how good of a job I have, how much money I make, or how many new things I have. That isn't me. I like making my money to pay what I have to pay. Like every other adult I have bills that have to get paid. I have responsibilities. I take care of myself. I help others with anything that I can. Even if my family doesn't think I am, others do. They cherish me for what I do. I enjoy my job and being me. I enjoy going out with my friends, hanging out. I don't smoke or drink. I definitely, don't mess around, or sleep around. I have my guard up to the fullest. I have very high standards, and I believe one day I will meet Mr.Right. I am grateful for everything my parents and GOD has supported me with.

But...In the nights is when no one realizes anything. They don't notice what is going on, because they think that I am this happy person that is always happy no matter what. They are wrong. I cry. I cry a lot. I cry every night. I cry because I am stressed, I cry because nothing goes like I planned it, and it doesn't. I need to let it out some how. But the number reason why every night I have tears falling down, I don't have the only person that I am in love with. He hates me. He doesn't know I exist anymore. As much as successful and professional, and ambitious that I am. I can't get him. I can't. I have tried every possible way. I can't forget about him. I love him. I really do. I never even knew that I was capable of loving someone else, besides myself. I learned that I am capable of developing true feelings for someone. I don't know why, but maybe I messed up somewhere and this is my karma. He doesn't know all of this. He doesn't even care about anything that has to do with me. He will be moving and I will be dying inside. Just like how I am right this moment. The only thing I have are the memories, but those are the ones that haunt me, and make me cry more. I can help but remember everything, Flashbacks</3.
I just wanted another chance, to prove to him that I am a changed person. I fell in love with him. I don't want or need any other boy. I need him. I want him. I'm in love with him. Since that first day that he looked into my eyes and told me that I was beautiful. What do I do now? Please tell me. Do I just throw my feelings away?