my good mood and happy outlook far from dissapated now. its her birthday today

she would be 22

they hug me, and smile saying "
Don't be so sad! just put a smile on and try to overcome all the voices in your head 
" how can i put on a smile?
IM THE REASON WHY SHES GONE
how the fuck can i overcome?!!! honestly having these bitches here get in my face isnt making my day any better, i feel guitly enough when i look into her sons eyes when he asks wheres mommy? i feel guilty i feel like shit i feel less than shit better? im sorry lele
IM SO SO SO SO SORRY 
i shoulda been there to stop you im so so so so sorry bud

ill join you soon enough just wait a little longer :'<
~im so so so sorry lele sincerely your best friend till the end
~cathrine elizabeth