Lethal Quotes

Memorable Quotes from
Lethal Weapon (1987)



Martin Riggs: You want me to drive?
Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive.
Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.

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Martin Riggs: We both know why I was transferred. Everyone thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked.
Roger Murtaugh: Guess what?
Martin Riggs: What?
Roger Murtaugh: I don't want to work with you!
Martin Riggs: Hey, don't.
Roger Murtaugh: Ain't got no choice! Looks like we both are fucked!
Martin Riggs: Terrific.
Roger Murtaugh: God hates me. That's what it is.
Martin Riggs: Hate him back; it works for me.

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Roger Murtaugh: Okay, clown, no bullshit! You wanna kill yourself?
Martin Riggs: Oh, for Chriss-...
Roger Murtaugh: Shut up! Yes or no - you wanna die?
Martin Riggs: Oh, I got the job done! What the hell do you want?
Roger Murtaugh: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!
Martin Riggs: Well, what do you wanna hear, man? Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin' a bullet? Huh? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it? This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it? The job! Doin' the job! Now that's the reason!

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[After stopping Riggs from shooting himself]
Roger Murtaugh: You're not trying to draw a psycho pension! You really are crazy!

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[Picking up a young prostitute]
Young prostitute: What have you got in mind?
Martin Riggs: Well, I want you to come home and watch television with me.
Young prostitute: You serious?
Martin Riggs: Yeah. "The 3 Stooges" are on in 20 minutes.

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Martin Riggs: This is a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun!

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Martin Riggs: The guy who shot me! The same albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker.
Roger Murtaugh: You sure?
Martin Riggs: Yeah, I'm sure man. I never forget an asshole.

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[Discussing a theory]
Martin Riggs: That's very thin.
Roger Murtaugh: Thin is my middle name.
Martin Riggs: Considering your wife's cooking, I'm not surprised.

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Martin Riggs: I don't make things difficult. That's the way they get, all by themselves.

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[Riggs is captured by General McAlister]
Martin Riggs: You're General Peter McAlister, Commander of Shadow Company.
McAlister: I see we've heard of each other.
Martin Riggs: Yep. It'll almost be a shame when I nail you.

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Martin Riggs: Look, why don't we just the cut the shit here? We both know why I was transferred. People think I'm crazy, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked.

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Sergeant McCaskey: You know, Roger, you are way behind the times. The guys of the 80s aren't tough. They are sensitive people. Show a little emotion to a woman and shit like that. I think I'm an '80s man...
Roger Murtaugh: How do you figure?
Sergeant McCaskey: Last night I cried in bed. So how is that?
Roger Murtaugh: Were you with a woman?
Sergeant McCaskey: I was alone. Why do you think I cried?
Roger Murtaugh: Sounds like an '80s man to me...

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[Repeated line in all 4 movies]
Roger Murtaugh: I'm too old for this shit!

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Martin Riggs: Perhaps there's an opening in the L.A. Fire Department?

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[When Joshua is panting on the lawn after the title-fight]
Roger Murtaugh: Get that shit off my lawn!

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Roger Murtaugh: Have you ever met anybody you didn't kill?
Martin Riggs: Well, I haven't killed you yet.

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Martin Riggs: You don't trust me at all, do you?
Roger Murtaugh: Well, I'll tell you what. You make it through tomorrow without killing anybody, especially me, or yourself, then I'll start trusting you.
Martin Riggs: Fair enough.

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Martin Riggs: I do it real good, you know.
Roger Murtaugh: Do what?
Martin Riggs: When I was 19, I did a guy in Laos with a rifle shot at a thousand yards in high wind. Maybe eight or even ten guys in the world could have made that shot. It's the only thing I was ever good at... Well, see you tomorrow.
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah. See you then.

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Roger Murtaugh: See how easy that was? Boom, still alive. Now we question him. You know why we question him? Because I got him in the leg. I didn't shoot him full of holes or try to jump off a building with him.
Martin Riggs: Hey, that's not fair. The building guy lived.

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Martin Riggs: You know they're going to kill her, don't you?
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah.
Martin Riggs: So if you want her back, you're going to have to take her away from them.
Roger Murtaugh: I know.
Martin Riggs: You do this my way. You shoot, you shoot to kill, get as many of them as you can. All you got to do is just not miss.
Roger Murtaugh: I won't miss.
Martin Riggs: We're going to get bloody on this one, Rog.
Roger Murtaugh: Are you really crazy? Or are you as good as you say you are?
Martin Riggs: You're just gonna have to trust me.

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Mr. Joshua: Endo has forgotten more about pain than most people will ever know.

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Dixie: Can I go now?
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, sure.
Dixie: You know how it is.
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, all dressed up and no one to blow.
Dixie: You're hilarious.

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[After rescuing Roger and Rianne]
Martin Riggs: Let's make like the shepherd and get the flock out of here!

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Martin Riggs: What do you say, Jack? You like a shot at the title?
Mr. Joshua: I don't mind if I do.

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Martin Riggs: Roger.
Roger Murtaugh: What?
Martin Riggs: Uh, 10-4.

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Martin Riggs: What did he mean when he said you owed him?
Roger Murtaugh: We served together in '65. Ia Drang Valley. Saved my life. Took a bayonet in the lungs.
Martin Riggs: That was nice of him.

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Roger Murtaugh: Pretty thin, huh?
Martin Riggs: Anorexic.

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McAllister: Ah, Mr. Mendez. How are you?
Mendez: Hey, I'm fine.
[Nodding at Mr. Joshua]
Mendez: Where the hell did you get him? Psychos 'R Us?

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Drug Dealer #3: [to Riggs, holding a gun to his head] How's it feel, sucker?

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Mr. Joshua: [stealing a woman's car] Mind if I test drive your Audi?

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Roger Murtaugh: General McAlister. Time for you to die.

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[aiming his gun at Mcalister's oncoming car]
Roger Murtaugh: No way you live. No way.

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Martin Riggs: [Riggs and Murtaugh go to a bust at a "rich house"] Saw this on Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless...