i'm a happy person ... em, no.. not yet

i'm new here... and now i'm in trouble... it's not the first problem.. but it's the 21902903832 problem . i'm comedian in my school. but i'm not in my room. only my room and my phone know me. everyone said i'm the happiest girl in the world. but my room said i'm the saddest girl in the world. now, i'm crying in my room. and found this website. awesome cool. i haven't friend to chat with. and now, i think i'll tell everything in my diary. my mom always mad to me. because i'm naughty she said. i'm not praying,and everything. but everyday i always hope i can be a good person to my mom. she mad to me cause she loves me. but i never make her happy. make her proud. but my mom never give up for me. and i just cant forgive myself. i cant be the best for my mom. i just mad to myself. "why?? why i cant changed? why? why i cant be a good person to my mom?". many people said "be yourself". THEY JUST DONT KNOW ME. now, my mom like give up. she told me that she was tired of me. she was tired of my school. i'm not changed. she told me that she GIVE UP OF ME. i just... cant believe. now, my mom, really2 mad of me. i just cant say YESorNo. and, i wish that found another way. if not, my best way is, dead.