help

I don't even know where to begin. i just CAN'T at the moment, i want to curl up in a ball. i... i want to fucking cut myself and i DON'T KNOW WHY i'm panicing over small things and i just... i want to fucking die, but i don't either. my 17th birthday is next saturday, i have things to look forward to, but my photography coursework is due on fridat and i am only about 50% finished, i don't have enough shoots, or ANY of the writing done. I just want to not have to do it. I don't want to do my A levels either, i had a mock in media and it went really badly. I don't want to do anything but just lie in my bed and read. to go to somewhere where i don't have problems, i want to just be idk sucked into harry potter or something. i am rediculously stressed. I keep glancing at my scissors and just thinking... who would care? you know? how would give a SHIT if i just... dissapeared? left forever.

I mena I know my friends would, at least i hope they would.

and my family... well most of them, i wonder if i'd just become a tradgedy never talked about?

i'm scared. I don't want to grow up anymore, I DON'T WANT TO BE AN ADULT FOR FUCKS SAKE.

I wnat to be a kid again, i don't want to worry about exams or coursework of growing up
I FUKCING HATE THIS I WANT TO DIE BUT I WANT TO LIVE ANF IT'S FUCKIGN HARD LIFE IS FUCKIGN HARD