6.2.2016

Today my day went good, not very good, but I did some things i`ve been proud of. I cleand up my rabbid cage, and cleand up my bike. 've taken a shower. But i don't feel good, I don't know why, it's just a feeling. i'm feeling restless, like something is going to happen, but I don't know what it is. feeling to restless to sleep right now. I'm very alert, and afraid of everything. everything scares the hell out of me. in the street they where throwing firework, I was very afraid of it... I didn't go to the birthday of my granfather, maybe I feel guilty about thad, maybe thad's why I'm feeling so restless. I'm also afraid i can't sleep, than I'm going crazy... I'm very focussed at my sleep. And I had a situation with some of my mentors. its irritating thad I constantly have the feeling thad she is above me. thad she's thinking she is more than us, because she is used to 'mentor' us. yesterday she woke me up, but i've told people expetitly to not do thad, because I can be very afraid and maybe attack people. later the evening I asked why she did thad, she knew I don't want thad. she give no response, hang up the Phone. now she is asking me why i'm not nice to her, kind of logic i think. i've not greeded her right in her opinion. 've asked her for a list with rules, so I can keep them. very frustrating.....