“You deserve to be my biggest regret”

Bron: http://www.puckermob.com/relationships/to-the-girl-whose-heart-i-broke

If you ask any guy, everyone has that one girl whose heart they hated to have broken. It’s the girl who would never do the same. It’s the girl, who even after, had nothing bad to say. It’s the one we wished they could have loved as much as they loved us.

She entered my life unexpected (as they do.) And I’ll admit, I fell for her at first. I might have even loved her. At least I told her I did, but I didn't exactly show that.

She believed in me, when no one else did. She cared for me and was honest from the moment I met her. Just holding her hand sent shivers up and down my body and I always wondered, how much further we’d go and if I could handle that sort of thing, (emotionally I mean.)

Very few guys will admit, there are some girls they are afraid to sleep with...she was one of them.

Because when you meet someone like her, nothing becomes simple anymore. But there was something about her...I wish I could have been as confident in her and our future as she was me. But I realized a long time ago, she deserved so much more than what I could give her, and it broke my heart to hurt her, even if she didn’t see it, I knew it’d be for her own good.

To the girl I hurt, who didn’t deserve it,

There isn’t a thing you wouldn’t have done for me…I know if I asked you, you would have done anything for me. In fact, I might have taken advantage of it a little. I liked the attention, I liked knowing someone was willing to go to ends of the earth for me. Cause I know you would have. I know any phone call you could have picked up. I know you’d be in the car coming to get me, even if it were 2AM. I know even now, if I called you, you’d probably cancel any plans you have or any date, to appease me. That's the type of girl you are.

I wish I could have reciprocated it...but you deserve someone who was as confident in you, as you were me. You deserved someone who could love you equally. You deserved every gesture to be reciprocated and multiplied. You deserved someone who made you more happy than sad.

You did nothing wrong...I know you probably blame yourself for a lot of it. You think I broke your heart, because of a flaw in you and something you didn’t do right. I knew your insecurities, I knew the things that made you tick, I knew your flaws, and despite all of the things, in my eyes you were still perfect. But it was someone else you were perfect for.

I’m sorry I did...it was me that was flawed. It was me that wasn’t good enough. It was all me. And I wish it wasn’t. I wish the feelings were all there. But my heart was half in it, and you didn’t deserve that, when all you ever did was give me all of your heart.

It wasn’t easy letting you go…you weren’t just someone I loved, even a little. You were my best friend. You were the texts I always enjoyed. You were the conversations late at night, I looked forward to during a long day. You were the time never wasted, and the time I wouldn’t give back for anything. Thank you for giving me your time. But just know I do miss you. I do think of you. Maybe not as much as you think of me. I think the most mature thing I could have done, was letting you find someone better.

Cause all you did was hang on...it took everything in me, not to answer your texts. Or ignore you, that time we ran into each other. And behind your smile, I saw you were breaking a little on the inside. I wanted to save you like I had many times in the past. But I realized I couldn’t be the one to save you, when I was the one who caused this pain in the first place.

But you deserved better….you deserved someone who wouldn’t make the mistake of hurting you in the first place.

Thank you for loving me…you gave me your best. You loved me completely. You taught me what it was like to have someone be as selfless, as you were. That’s the standard I’m gonna compare everyone else to. Few are going to reach the bar you set. You are one of a kind and I consider it a privilege, to have been someone you loved.

And one day I know I’ll regret not loving you back...one day you are going to get over me. One day, it’s not gonna hurt anymore. One day, you won’t reach to text me, as you’ve have one too many LITs. One day you’ll stop crying over me. And one day, I won’t even be a thought in your mind. And if ever we cross paths again, I know I’ll look at you smiling, as you hold the hand of someone I don’t know, and in that moment you’ll be my biggest regret.

You deserve to be my biggest regret