When will it all make sense?

Recently I've been feeling very disconnected from the people around me. More specifically: from the people at university. Yesterday was a really bad day. All day long I felt so left out and ignored. I cried on my way home. I haven't felt such a deep sadness in quite a long time. It was intense. Maybe it's all because of my vibe? Maybe I have this bad, negative vibe around me that won't attract any good people. Maybe it's just the place and the people. maybe there's absolutely nothing I can do about this. So many questions, and very few answers. It feels out of my own control. Like I can try as hard as I want to fit in and be a part of the crowd, it just won't work.

I probably need to give it some time. Have faith that someone will come around. Someone who makes me feel "alive" again. There's nothing more that I can do than to stay true to who I am and be open to people. I've learnt an important lesson tho:

You can't force friendships. You will meet people who connect with you, but you will also come across people who have a completely different vibe to them, a vibe that's simply not compatible to yours. And that is fine. It sucks... but it is what it is. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, and it doesn't mean you need to change yourself. You need to focus on the people that make you feel good about yourself, people you feel comfortable being around.

if you are in a similar situation to mine and you don't feel like there's anyone out there who connects with you. If you feel lonely and misunderstood. I have some words of wisdom for you: First of all, you are who you are and that will always be enough. You don't need to change your personality, you might need to change your mentality. If you're not happy in your courant situation, it's important to realize that only you can turn things around. It's up to you to make a difference and it's up to you to decide when. Secondly: It's fine to be closed-off for awhile. If you don't feel like being open towards people, you can shut them out for a bit. You first need to sort yourself out, get to know yourself, accept yourself for who you are, before you can allow good vibes to flow into your life and brighten it up. It's a proces. It will be difficult at times, but you'll get there.


Good luck to anyone who's struggling finding their way xxx